Yesterday we saw the monumental announcement of the Microsoft Surface, a Windows Tablet destined to alter the iPad and Android dominated market. If you didn’t think the folks at Apple and Google were paying close attention, the below clip will change your mind. Take a look and listen while Apple’s Legal Team and CEO Tim Cook watch and discuss the implications of the Microsoft Surface launch.
Check out the transcript from our (fake) phone call:
PHONE TRANSCRIPT:
Tim Cook: Oh hey guys uh what’s up? It’s Tim, Tim Cook here, from Apple.
Lawyer: (Clears throat) Tim, it’s the legal team.
Tim Cook: My hot shot legal team!
Lawyer: Uh, wanted you to see this video. Listen to my impressions… we need to bring out the big guns. Microsoft has just totally ripped off 70 Billion-
Tim Cook: Oh my oh
Lawyer: Whup look: white square.
Tim Cook: What is that?
Lawyer: Patented in 1993, by Apple
Tim Cook: That is IT. Is that? A square device on a pedestal? Oh my God we patented that, like, 20 years ago.
Lawyer: Rectangular gadget, sitting there. Patented. Long time ago…
Tim Cook: Oh my god!
Lawyer: Magnets.
Tim Cook: It’s got magnets?
Lawyer: Patented that. Actually we invented that.
Tim Cook: Magnets?
Lawyer: It’s absurd!
Tim Cook: Magnets? For heaven’s sakes.
Lawyer: We need to do something about this, we need to act NOW.
Tim Cook: Magnets, we patented that do-
Lawyer: LOOK! Windows Logo! We patented the new Windows Logo 5 years ago. Kickstands.
Tim Cook: Apple.
Lawyer: Kickstands.
Tim Cook: Son.
Lawyer: We invented those with the bike!
Tim Cook: All day.
Lawyer: When the bicycle was invented by Apple-
Tim Cook: That’s some jiggly…
Lawyer: Aw look at this.
Tim Cook: Jiggly balls? What’s going on here? I don’t like what’s
Lawyer: Tim! Tim!
Tim Cook: I don’t like what’s happenin’ here.
Lawyer: Tim! Tim snap out of it! This is a slap in the face Tim and we need to bring out the- LOOK! Bouncing balls?
Tim Cook: Oh that’s it. That is such a ripoff.
Lawyer: I’m fed up with this.
Tim Cook: Oh my god. Well what are we gon’ do?
Lawyer: What are we gonna do.
Tim Cook: What are we gonna do.
Lawyer: What are we gonna do…. mmmmmmmm… ahhhhhhhhhhhh!
Microsoft Surface Roundup:
- Microsoft Surface Forums Launch
- Buy the Microsoft Surface
- Microsoft Surface Specs
- Microsoft Surface Pictures
- Surface vs iPad vs Android Tablets
Hope you enjoyed! For the sure to arrive haters… this is a PARODY and intended for humor and entertainment purposes only. Please don’t try to “defend” Apple… obviously the video is over the top and ludicrous. That was the point.
